Soulmates

One thing Kenyans appear not shy about asking is you marital status. Good thing "Love is only a phone call away". The Daily Nation, one of the local newspapers runs adds for singles in the Saturday paper in a column called "Soulmates". Here are a few of the gems for your reading pleasure.

Bachelor Number 1:  Can someone tell me what medium size means?

I’M HARRY, 22 YEARS OLD, OF MEDIUM SIZE and chocolate complexioned. I’m romantic, charming and with a heart of a lamb. I’m looking for a financially stable woman, whether an American or an African (soulmate) who will love me back. She should be living in Nairobi or its outskirts. Age or race not an issue. If interested, please call 0729-7XXXX9 or e-mail XXXX@yahoo.com.

Bachelor Number 2: I don't think things bode well for this guy.

I’M COLLINS, 37, A CIVIL SERVANT WORKING AND living in Western Kenya. I’m looking for a woman who seriously wants to settle down in marriage, with or without children. Age: between 30 and 40. No jokes. No flashing. No SMS. Just call 0726-2XXXX8. Note: I’m not financially stable.

Bachelor Number 3...and Number 4:

MARCUS AND LEON, AGED 35 and 45 respectively, are looking for mature, adventurous princesses of any age above 35. If you want a discreet, fun-filled romantic time with no strings attached. Please call 0712-2XXXX1 and share your fun-tasy.